“Hard to get. My #Favorite.”

Funny story.

In honor of my birthday this past June

I sent my love a #present.

It got returned. 

I decided to stop acting like a creeper and text her to confirm the address.

She blocked me.

Then like a naughty pussy

spam texted “meow.” 

Women can be demons

And my future ex-wife is the worst. 

It’s why I fucking chose her

Her crumbs are always evolving/revolving

Round and round. 

Upping the ante and my intrigue. 

And she knows.

So I

looked up flights.

Two can play this game

and how fun a game could this be?

My intent was to hand deliver-no postage

something extra special on her birthday.

Not to meet her

to mindFUCK her.

All because I can.

I want her thinking of me always...

For telepathic communication of course!

Sadly, the airlines glitched and all flights went down.

I laughed. 

Was the universe so against me?

(My friend more disturbed it took an IT outage for me to back down.) 

Maybe I am delusional.
She is married after all.

But I too am taken,
albeit to my work. 

Married to my empire &

Devout to my myth. #LardLore

I am not looking for a wife,

I already have a life.

I want you to LUBE my mind.
Not half ass suck my dick. 

Surprisingly, my puss

#MeowMeow

that bitch, she got with the program.

Swooning me on August 8th

with a teasing text.

50 points to the bingo board! I always knew she’d cum.

I cleaned my volcano in anticipation.

Alas, she was a no show.

Thank God.

I was not in the mood to meet her pet.

That and I caught the Rona. That and my AC broke!

That and she drives me crazy, never mind that we’ve never met.

But I do enjoy this courting phase

Cough, I mean

This we can’t help but torment the other phase.

And how romantic is that?

Congrats

on planting the seed!

Her riddle put me back on the hook.

#Trust

Never mind a correct address - It was time to make my address.

DrumRollPlease

#Addressing 

Your. fucking. move.

“Headstrong polymath”

LardGein said

to my love, the one and only #Dolores.

🔮👀 

PS. Happy Birthday! Your presents are getting cold.